ED2010 BEST BITS: Hardeep Singh Kohli is back at the Fringe cooking up both food and chat with his show ‘Chat Masala’. Between servings, he found time to answer some questions posed by our Week 3 Guest Editor Janey Godley and thrown at him in a rather unsavoury fashion.
JG: What do you wish you had brought with you to Edinburgh this year?
HSK: Vegetables. And a book called ‘The A-Z Of The Mind Of Janey Godley’.
JG: Getting around the Fringe – Segway or scooter… choose and why?
HSK: Segter which combines the height of the segway with Parisienne chic of a scooter.
JG. Have you ever stolen stuff from the house you rented at the Festival? Tell me what it was (I took a sofa).
HSK: I’m clever. I have nicked Morningside. All of it. Go see. It isn’t there. That, and all the animals in the zoo which I have freed in Wester Hailes.
JG: Have you ever kicked someone off a bike in Edinburgh who ran a red light and nearly hit you? (I have).
HSK: I don’t think this is the place for me and Janey to have this discussion. I didn’t see her crossing the road and those lights outside Teviot are not as straightforward as you might think…
JG: Have you ever dreamed of sliding down the upside down cow in the middle of the night, if so what are you wearing whilst doing that?
HSK: I have had that dream. I was wearing a big purple cow outfit. The first night I slid down the cow. The next night it slid down me. I have cut back on my carbs since.
JG. Namedrop the biggest celeb who came to your show (you can make it up, Johnny Depp came to mine).
HSK: Janey Godley was meant to come to my gig but she was out partying with Johnny Depp.
JG: Can you give me a good reason NOT to come back to the Fringe?
HSK: Edinburgh realises Morningside is missing and there are no animals in the Zoo.
JG: Do you have a secret Fringe crush? Who is it? (and it can be me!)
HSK: I’ve always had a thing for Janey Godley’s husband, Ian.
JG: Give us your porn star name (your headmistress/master surname and the street you lived on as a child).
HSK: Meadowburn McCabe. Or Budgie Bhangoo if you go for the first pet/mum’s maiden name option.
JG: What is your venue number multiplied by 3 add on 6 and divided by 2 (as that equals how long your liver has got before it caves in)?
HSK: I only deal in prime numbers so cannot fufil this answer. I’d like it to be 43, the most beautiful of all prime numbers (closely followed by 37).
Hardeep’s show ‘Chat Masala’ was performed at Gilded Balloon Teviot during Fringe 2010.