ED2011 FEATURE: It’s coming and you know it. First performers and ticket-buyers bring with them to Edinburgh viruses from all over the world. Then no one sleeps or eats properly for ten days, and the Edinburgh climate soaks them to their skin three times daily.
Add the excessive alcohol consumption and too much time spent in dark rooms, and Fringe Flu hits, taking down with it anyone fully immersed in all things Fringe. But how to avoid the lurgy? Fringe performers offer tips.
Gateau Chocolat: “I’m taking everything that’s going. Echinacea, manuka honey, multi vitamins, vegetables, lemon and ginger, steaming; everything to keep healthy and ensure you preserve the quality and integrity of your show so as to present your work in the best light possible. Its hard slog doing a full Edinburgh season but its the underlying discipline
required for this career”.
Le Gateau Chocolat, Assembly George Square, fpp12.
The Suitcase Royale: “The Suitcase Royale have a strict regime of whiskey and Ace Ventura movies while on tour and very rarely are struck by the fringe flu. Being from Australia, we are used to much harsher conditions such as wrestling crocodiles, punching sharks and avoiding hostile gangs of koalas. When struck down, however, we have an emergency VHS copy of ZUMBA (the South American dance-slash-workout video) After a six hour workout we defy anyone to still be affected by a stupid flu…! Feel the rhythm! Feel the beat!!”
The Suitcase Royale in Zombatland, Pleasance Courtyard, fpp156.
Jessica Fostekew: “You know when you’re on your way home, after all your gigs, and your friend says ‘shall we just pop in Brooks for one?’ Say ‘No’”.
Jessica Fostekew: Luxury Tramp, Gilded Balloon Teviot, fpp97.
David Reed: “Any doctor worth his or her weight will tell you that the solution to this annual problem is speed. Not the drug. That only cures being too interesting. But speed of activity throughout Edinburgh. Your body is entirely capable of keeping you alive as long as you NEVER… SLOW… DOWN. Travel around at break neck speed, seeing shows, chatting and drinking until you pass out around 4am. Repeat daily until September”.
David Reed: Shamblehouse, Pleasance Courtyard, fpp65.
Asher Treleaven: “The best cure for Fringe Flu is a traditional Scottish breakfast known as Porrocca, which is a combination of rolled oats and Berroca. The porridge provides a long lasting slow release energy and the Berocca provides valuable B and C vitamins to help deal with hang overs and colds/flus. Ingredients for Porroca – 150gm Rolled Oats, 2 Berocca, preferably the orange ones. Directons. Prepare in small sauce pan with I cup of water or milk add Berroca and when fluid starts to simmer introduce the oats. Stir till thickened then eat rapidly from saucepan while running to midday gig at some place in a cave”.
Asher Treleaven: Matador, Pleasance Courtyard, fpp40.
Peacock and Gamble: “The best advice we can give about not getting fringe flu is to simply not acknowledge its existence. If we have learned one thing from Nightmare on Elm St it is that if you do not believe in something it cannot harm you. Oh and never go to sleep – that’s another thing we learned. So if you don’t want fringe flu then don’t go to sleep. We may have talked ourselves into a corner here”.
Peacock and Gamble Emergency Broadcast, Pleasance Dome, fpp132.
Danny Pensive: “Fizzy vitamin C tablets can stop you getting it, but if it is too late, go straight home after your show and wrap yourself in as many blankets as you can find and force yourself to sleep until the next day like a hibernating hedgehog or tortoise. Do this twice”.
Danny Pensive’s Map Of Britain, Just The Tonic at The Caves, fpp63.
Tiernan Douieb: “I have two cures for fringe flu, depending on what sort of person you are. Firstly, do your show then go to bed, drink berroca until every drop of your perspiration is fluorescent orange and glows, chow down on all the fruit you can find, ignoring the pleas of your bowels and rest up a tad till it disperses. Of course, this option is mostly fictional. Far better to remember that alcohol has and is still often used as a disinfectant and by drowning your body in the thing you should clear the system of all ills”.
Tiernan Douieb vs The World, Assembly Hall, fpp158.
Kerry Godliman: “Prevention is better than cure: Avoid over exposure to jugglers, Lady Boys from Bangkok and bitter comedians. If it does strike, stay indoors watching the most vapid daytime TV you can find. You’ll slowly regain your appetite for live ‘performance art’ and trench foot”.
Kerry Godliman – Wonder Woman, Pleasance Courtyard, fpp104.
Emily Watson Howes: “Prevention is better than cure – hole yourself up like a hermit and for the love of God don’t kiss anyone. Even your spouse. Especially your spouse”.
Seminar, Pleasance Courtyard, fpp148
The Baby Diary, Assembly George Square, fpp42
Tom Deacon: “The best way to keep the Fringe Flu at bay is to eat healthy and not have fun. But if you can’t manage that then have a pint of the dark stuff and a plate of Oysters. Settles your stomach and nerves, plus there’s loads of minerals in the Oysters. Sure you’ll get odd looks but it’ll be worth it!”
Tom Deacon: Can I Be Honest?, Pleasance Dome, fpp160.
James Acaster: “The best way to overcome fringe flu is to eat properly, sleep properly and exercise but if you’re doing all of those things then you’re probably not at the Fringe”.
James Acaster: Amonst Other Things, Pleasance Courtyard, fpp94.
Read more from: ED2011 Columns | ED2011 Surveys | ED2011 Week1 Edition
Read more about: Asher Treleaven | Assembly | Avalon Promotions | Croft & Pearce | Danny Pensive | David Reed | Emily Watson Howes | Get Comedy | Gilded Balloon | James Acaster | Jessica Fostekew | Just The Tonic | Kerry Godliman | Le Gateau Chocolat | Pleasance | The Suitcase Royale | Tiernan Douieb | Tom Deacon