My mind begins to wander roughly three minutes into ‘Taking The Piff’ – a sketch-show apparently entirely based on the precise length of time it is possible to spin out a dull idea. Even the performers don’t really seem to be enjoying themselves as they shout out lines of stilted dialogue, without recourse to concepts such as timing or delivery. As sketch after sketch drags interminably towards a distant close I find myself pondering ceiling tiles, the futility of life, and how on earth anyone could possibly have thought that a skit about Hitler reinventing himself as an after-dinner speaker could ever be worth watching. ‘Taking The Piff’ makes an afternoon spent counting staples sound quite diverting. Avoid.

Laughing Horse at The Counting House, 21 – 28 Aug, 2.30pm (3.30pm), free, fpp157.
tw rating 1/5
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From the second Jack Whitehall bounds onto the stage, leaping down to high-five the audience, strutting nonchalantly around, it is obvious that he has charisma by the boatload. His opening gambit to the crowd – “You’re all beautiful! All of you!” – is pure rock-star in magnitude. It’s a shame, then, that his material isn’t equal to his stage presence. Routines about lads’ holidays and his mum are funny, but not particularly original or exciting, and at times he comes dangerously close to accidental caricature: more than once, his anecdotes about student living and Jagermeister put me in mind of Unexpected Items’ infamous ‘Gap Yah’ video. Bombastic and sometimes brilliant, ‘Let’s Not Speak Of This Again’ is nevertheless an anticlimax.

Venue 150 at EICC, 18 – 27 Aug (not 21, 22, 23, 24), 9.30pm (10.40pm), £13.00 – £15.00, fpp94.
tw rating 3/5
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David Lodge’s latest novel, ‘A Man Of Parts’, deals with the turbulent friendship between novelists H.G. Wells and E. Nesbit: if the extracts he reads from at this event are to be believed, it is as full of good humour, scandal and philosophy as everything else he puts his name to. It is an engrossing hour. The characters are clearly embedded into his psyche, and his reading is pure theatre; competing with the rain on the rooftop, he wins by a mile. Later, he answers questions about biography – this is his second biographical novel, after 2004’s ‘Author, Author’, about Henry James –  and the “art of fiction” with quick wit and a rather professorial tendency to ramble.

RBS Main Theatre, 25 Aug, 11.30am (12.30pm), £8.00 – £10.00, bfpp42.
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Since his book ‘The Men Who Stare At Goats’ became a top-grossing Hollywood blockbuster starring George Clooney and Ewan McGregor, Jon Ronson has been hot property. The queue for this event, which stretches right the way around Charlotte Square’s wooden boardwalk, attests to this, as does the excitable buzz that greets his entrance on stage. Ronson himself is a candid, engaging – if easily distracted – speaker: often a phrase or sentence will have him drifting off on a tangent. Once or twice he begins to read extracts from the book he is here to discuss, ‘The Psychopath Test’, but after a paragraph or two he closes it and instead gives us glimpses of situations that never made it into print. Wonderful.

RBS Main Theatre, 24 Aug, 4.30pm (5.30pm), £8.00 – £10.00, eibfpp40.
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As soon as Ian Rankin comes on stage, smiles around the audience, and leans back in his chair, we are reminded that he is an old pro at these events. Certainly, tonight’s talk is nothing if not polished: jokes he’s made several times before are wheeled out once more, old tales are re-spun for an audience that nevertheless hang on every word. “An oldie, but a goldie”, he says about one pun that receives more than its fair share of groans. But Rankin comes alive when he discusses his new protagonist, Malcolm Fox, and new novel ‘The Impossible Dead’. And after all, after twenty years of being asked questions about Rebus, you can’t really blame him for knowing the answers.

RBS Main Theatre, 24 Aug, 8.00pm (9.00pm), £8.00 – £10.00, eibfpp41.
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‘The Quotidian Revue’ want to celebrate the minutiae of life. “Question your teaspoons,” they demand of their audience, at the beginning of an eccentric hour of comedy that sees three men take turns lecturing us on such illuminating topics as letterboxes, Boots meal deals and the average price of a Twirl bar. Statistics, PowerPoint presentations and pie charts abound as the three comedians – Lewis Dryburgh, Peter Fletcher and James Ward – manage to dredge humour up from the unlikeliest of sources. It helps that they’re all so likeable, of course, but what really makes this show fly is the fact that it’s so easy to relate to: we all enjoy pointless trivia, after all. It’s odd, but ‘The Quotidian Revue’ is also rather brilliant.

The Bongo Club, 14 – 28 Aug (not 19), times vary, £5.00 – £9.00, fpp138.
tw rating 4/5
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Like ‘The Mighty Boosh’ does ‘Shaun of the Dead’, with a soundtrack by Seasick Steve, ‘Zombatland’ is a ramshackle, discordant affair. After a mysterious plague attacks Blue Lagoon Caravan Park, only three men are left alive; armed only with a cricket bat and a crumpet gun, they are forced to fight off hordes of rampaging Zombats in a production which clatters through its 55 minutes in a breathless dash. Suitcase Royale have found the secret to combining consummate professionalism with a rough-around-the-edges rickety charm: pieces of set are destroyed and off-stage figures flail behind cardboard caravans. For all that, ‘Zombatland’ is a show low on budget, but high on laughs, and a real midnight treat.

Pleasance Courtyard, 3 – 28 Aug (not 16), 11.10pm (12.05am), £9.00 – £10.00, fpp156.
tw rating 4/5
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Alphonse didn’t come home from school today. His family are worried but Alphonse has bigger problems: together with his friend Pierre Paul René, he is in the midst of an adventure. This is the premise of ‘Alphonse’, a surreal, mystical journey into the imagination, beautifully performed by Alon Nashman. Like a Grimm fairytale crossed with ‘Where The Wild Things Are’ and narrated by Lewis Carroll, it makes for a wonderful kind of nonsense. Nashman creates an entire world of characters just by altering his body language, often holding ‘conversations’ entirely on his own and with such conviction that it is easy to forget this is a one-man show. Kids will love ‘Alphonse’, and grown-ups ought to enjoy it too.

Pleasance Courtyard, 3 – 28 Aug (not 17), 11.45am (12.45pm), £8.00 – £10.00, fpp237.
tw rating 4/5
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Not unlike another city you might know, it always rains in Tumblewater. Based on Bruno Vincent’s novel, ‘Grisly Tales From Tumblewater’ is an enchanting fairytale vividly brought to life by Edward Jaspers. Replete with satchel, top-hat and easy-going charm, Jaspers takes us on an hour-long, fantastical romp through the wettest place in the world. Tumblewater is peopled with a series of weird and wonderful individuals – from the narrator, orphan and would-be doctor Daniel Dory, to the sinister Caspian Prye, who “was a good man, once” before heartbreak turned him into something “not even human” – and Jaspers is on brilliant form as he skips from character to character. Witty, musical and magical, ‘Grisly Tales From Tumblewater’ is a fabulous adaptation.

Pleasance Courtyard, 3 – 29 Aug (not 16), 2.00pm (3.00pm), £6.50 – £9.00, fpp267.
tw rating 5/5
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‘Ethometric Museum’ is rather a unique experience, and is by turns beautiful, eerie and downright disturbing – at one point, I got so paranoid I convinced myself everyone else in the audience was a plant. It is hard to believe that this effect is entirely due to the weird, atmospheric, startling soundscapes Ray Lee coaxes from his selection of intricately-crafted instruments. Housed in a dark, dank New Town basement, the ‘Ethometric Museum’ archives instruments from an abandoned branch of science—all of which are wonderful, creepy-looking amalgamations of wood and metal, like the missing link between gramophones and Frankenstein — and “demonstrated” by Lee. It’s not for everyone, but if you’re after something genuinely different, ‘Ethometric Museum’ will take your breath away.

Hill Street Theatre, 19 – 28 Aug, times vary, £7.00 – £9.00, fpp260.
tw rating 4/5
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From the opening sketch of ‘The Behemoth’, a few very important things are made clear. One: if you hate ridiculous, wonderfully odd sketch comedy, this is not the show for you. Two: if you’re sitting at the back, behind a pillar, or in any other position where the whites of John-Luke Roberts’ eyes are not visible, you are missing out on some of the best moments in this show. And three: if you carry a joke on for long enough, it will be funny again. A heady whirl of laughter, ‘The Behemoth’ sprints through carefully labelled sketches (the ‘Murder Mystery Sketch’ is a particular highlight) to a bizarre, fantastic finale. As mighty as its namesake.

Pleasance Courtyard, 3 – 29 Aug (not 16), 4.45pm (5.40pm), £7.50 – £11.00, fpp100.
tw rating 4/5
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Twenty minutes before the start of ‘Screwed-Over-Again!’, the queue stretches into the street and a harassed barman is turning people away. Sketch troupe Four Screws Loose have already made their mark on the Fringe and it’s soon obvious why: this show is hilarious. From teenagers nonplussed by the Second Coming, to reality TV wannabes, the four comics mock modern life with such infectious joy that it’s impossible not to be swept along. The odd sketch misses the mark – do we need more jokes about ‘Made in Chelsea’ types who converse in text-speak acronyms? – but really, this is sketch comedy as it should be done. Go and see it – just make sure you get there early.

Bannermans, 7 – 26 Aug (not 13, 20), 4.15pm (5.10pm), free, fpp77.
tw rating 4/5
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As the lights come up on ‘Generation 9/11′, Chris Wolfe’s one-man play about the fall of the Twin Towers, he fixes the audience with a cold stare. “Where were you then?” he asks, half-accusing, half-curious. It’s typical of the way this fascinating, innovative piece of theatre engages the audience throughout. Wolfe’s ability to transform with just a change of tone is extraordinary; with the help of a few simple props – a hat, a scarf – he has a cast of at least a dozen. Though the subject might lend itself to over-seriousness, Wolfe is actually very funny, and the audience laugh several times. It’s this touch that makes ‘Generation 9/11′ a truly fresh and exciting experience. Unmissable.

theSpaces at Surgeons Hall, 5 – 27 Aug (not 7, 14, 21), times vary, £6.00 – £7.00, fpp265.
tw rating 5/5
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Before James Dowdeswell takes to the stage, someone comes round with free nuts. “James’ sister owns a nut company,” he explains, offering samples to the audience. It’s an odd way to commence, but once Dowdeswell starts talking, it begins to make perfect sense: within ten minutes, the affable comic manages to make the audience feel like old and trusted friends. It’s a style of comedy absolutely perfect for this small room: gently funny anecdotes are endearingly addressed directly to audience members, giving the show an intimate feel, as though we’ve all just met down the pub. Chatty and cheerful, it’s great fun throughout; and unlike real pub sessions, nobody gets drunk and weepy.

The Stand Comedy Club III & IV, 5 – 28 Aug (not 15), 4.45pm (5.45pm), £5.00 – £8.00, fpp94.
tw rating 4/5
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As an hour-long hard-hitting drama about the Holocaust, ‘The Investigation’ is both beautifully crafted and horrifically difficult to watch. A judge questions survivors and concentration camp guards in an attempt to understand the atrocities of Auschwitz. Stories made all the more horrible by the fact that they are true are spliced with physical theatre and dance, to create an absolutely heart-wrenching production. If there is one criticism to be made, it is that the play would benefit from being shorter: the material is so bleak that it is impossible to take it all in at once. It’s not a show to be squeezed into a tight schedule, but if you’ve time for reflection, ‘The Investigation’ will prove worthwhile.

Zoo Southside, 5 – 29 Aug (not 14, 21), 9.15pm (10.15pm), £6.00 – £7.50, fpp271.
tw rating 4/5
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Like the elusive needle in a haystack, a good sketch show is hard to find; ‘Animals With Jobs’ is excellent. In an hour of tightly-packed jokes, the laughs just keep coming as sketch after sketch hits the mark. From a board of executives to a medal-winning schoolboy, the characters and their situations get more and more ridiculous and the jokes funnier and funnier; a highlight is the recurring sketch about ‘Groundhog Day’. There are a couple of lulls and a bit too much emphasis on bringing old jokes back, especially towards the end, but these are just minor niggles in an otherwise excellent show. In a few years they’ll be packing out the bigger venues, so see them here while you still can.

Just The Tonic at The Store, 4 – 28 Aug (not 16), 5.00pm (6.00pm), £7.00 – £8.00, fpp109.
tw rating 4/5
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From the satirical to the grossly scatological, Dr Phil has got it all in hand – and a great bedside manner to boot. The GP-turned-comedian may be most famous for his NHS whistle-blowing, but as this show proves, he’s no stranger to stand-up, either. A routine about the most interesting objects removed from patients’ bottoms would, in any other hands, border on the unlistenable; Dr Phil not only makes it hilarious, but throws in a serious message without losing the interest of the audience – an impressive feat. It’s a show at least as interesting as it is funny, full of facts both medical and political, and well worth an hour of your time. Make an appointment now.

theSpace at Symposium Hall, 8 – 27 Aug (not 14, 21), 7.00pm (8.00pm), £7.00 – £10.00, fpp69.
tw rating 4/5
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‘Skittles’ tells a simple story – boy meets girl, gets girl, loses girl – but it’s given a new spin through Richard Marsh’s words. Fast-paced and rhythmical, his hour-long poem manages the impressive task of being at once natural-sounding and completely stylised. It’s playful, too, at times very funny: “You’re so hot it’s like you’re covered in kettles” is a line that sticks in the mind. At other moments, however, it’s heart-breaking. Though an old story, Marsh’s talents are enough to sustain something much more exciting and new, but ‘Skittles’ still tugs at the heartstrings. Affecting, but never affected, it’s a powerful hour in the company of a rare talent.

Pleasance Courtyard, 3 – 29 Aug (not 16), 2.05pm (3.05pm), £8.00 – £10.00, fpp298
tw rating 4/5
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Entering the venue at a breathless dash and apologising for her lateness, Jessica Phillippi immediately plunges the audience into ‘The Translator’s Dilemma’. It’s only as she begins welcoming us to “class” that we realise she is already acting. This stark naturalism makes the play as difficult to watch as it is compelling. Covering a class for a friend, the eponymous translator realises that the prepared lesson is on a subject too close to home: a greedy corporation whose crimes resulted in her parents’ deaths. A harrowing portrayal of her descent into hysteria and near-insanity is marred only by the odd confusing line and plot hole. Though imperfect in places, Phillippi’s excellent performance means that this production shines.

Princes Mall, 6 – 27 Aug (not 16, 17, 18), 1.00pm (2.00pm), free, fpp308.
tw rating 4/5
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The sun is coming up on the morning after the night before. Don Pope has done something he shouldn’t have and the cat is yowling again. So begins ‘Kitty Litter’, a play which flickers between the surreal and the everyday as it brilliantly portrays the drug-fuelled adventures of a gang of Bristolian teen fantasists. Thomas Butler puts in a superb performance as the confused Don, his mind slowly unravelling throughout the show. Unfortunately, it’s ten minutes too long, and, more irritatingly, the programme gives away a major plot twist; these niggles aside, however, this is a well-scripted and excellently acted piece of theatre: the kind of comedy-drama ‘Skins’ only wishes it could be.

theSpaces On The Mile, 5 – 27 Aug (not 7, 14, 21), times vary, £6.00 – £8.00, fpp274.
tw rating 4/5
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